Tastes Like Chicken?
by SpiritVegeta
Summary: Everyone's heard the saying: It tastes like chicken. But is it true? Omaeda's about to find out. Short-Story.


**Tastes Like Chicken?**

Everyone's heard that old saying: it tastes like chicken. But is that really true? During a barbecue party at Goku's place, the question was brought up in a casual conversation.

Omaeda: "No way. I don't believe you! Have you ever tried something that tastes like chicken that isn't?"

Renji: "No but humans say it all the time so it must be true!"

Omaeda: "Like what kind of things?"

Renji: "Uh snake, alligator, frog..."

Renji and Omaeda were talking about what tastes like chicken while everyone else just listened in. Some already knew the answer.

Ichigo: "Does snake really taste like chicken?"

Goku: "No! And trust me on this, Ichigo- I've eaten enough strange things to know!"

Vegeta: "You and me both."

Omaeda: "I heard that, Goku! And I don't believe you've actually tried any of these!"

Bulma: "Omaeda. I can say for a fact that when Goku was a kid, the very night of the day I first met him, he brought home a wolf and a centipede for what he called dinner!"

Vegeta just turned his head slowly towards Goku as the earth raised saiyan tended to the food on the grill. Said saiyan glanced at him and just nodded with a smirk.

Vegeta: "You truly do have an iron stomach."

Goku: "Look who's talking, Vegeta. I've seen you bite through some pretty hard metal and suspiciously don't see you spit anything out."

Toushiro was sitting on a picnic table next to Momo while he drank some water.

Momo: "I think it's just a thing people say to make someone eat something they normally wouldn't. I used to do the same thing when I tried to get Toushiro to eat when he was little. And it worked! I got him to eat wild boar!"

And the young captain suddenly just spat out all the water he had in his mouth!

Toushiro: "That was BOAR?! You told me it was deer!"

Momo: "I did? Oops!"

Omaeda: "Huh... I guess it must be true if someone like Captain Hitsugaya can't tell the difference."

Toushiro "HEY!"

Goku: "Calm down, Toushiro. I'm telling you right now, Omaeda. That is not true. Some things taste similar, but still not enough to taste the same."

Omaeda: "Yeah right! Ha ha ha!"

Soifon: "Ok then... Let's test it."

Omaeda: "Huh?!"

Rangiku: "That's actually not a bad idea!"

Hercule: "Yeah. Prove it to us!"

Omaeda: "Ok then. I will!"

Gin: "Why don't we make this as a bit of a challenge. The myth that certain things taste like chicken. Is it true or not?"

Uryu: "Yeah. Like we have a certain amount of foods, say 20."

Ichigo: "Yeah. 20 foods, all of which have at one point been said to taste like chicken, will be given to Omaeda and he must identify if he can tell if it's chicken or not."

Gin: "Ah! But he must do it blindfolded!"

Hercule: "You're forgetting one thing. Texture."

Chi-Chi: "Grind it up!"

Soifon: "Think you can handle that, Omaeda?"

Omaeda: "No problem, Captain!"

Soifon: "Hmph! We'll see."

Goku: "I'll go prepare the stuff."

Omaeda: "Not you, Goku! Let's make this fair!"

Goku: "Ok... How?"

Omaeda: "I want someone else to cook the meat so there is no conflict!"

Vegeta: "I'll handle that."

Goku: "You!"

While Goku followed Vegeta to get the food, Omaeda got ready.

Omaeda: "I know that I'll beat this!"

With Vegeta by him, Goku collected over 20 meats that have been said to taste like chicken at one point, including actual chicken. They both watched as Chi-Chi grinds the meat up into patties to eliminate texture.

Goku: "You can cook, Vegeta?"

Vegeta: "Remember Nappa?"

Goku: "Mr Big, Bald, Brawn, and Dumb? Yeah."

Vegeta: "Trust me when I say this. When you've traveled with him for as long as I did and tasted his cooking for that long, you quickly learn how to cook for yourself pretty fast."

Goku: "He was a bad cook, huh?"

Vegeta: "I got sick more times than I dare to say."

Goku: "Yikes!"

Vegeta: "Oh and Chi-Chi. Add this."

Vegeta handed Ch-Chi another kind of meat. She didn't recognize it.

Vegeta: "Something I know that REALLY doesn't taste like chicken."

Goku: "What is it?"

Vegeta whispered the answer to Goku. The earth raised saiyan looked at him funny.

Goku: "I've never even heard of that!"

Vegeta: "You don't want to know what it really is either."

After all the meats were chopped and cooked, they were ready to prove to Omaeda that not everything said to taste like chicken actually does. Soifon gladly blindfolded her lieutenant, eager to see what nasty things he was about to try.

Soifon: "I hope some of these are 'good'."

Vegeta: "You're gonna enjoy this."

And it began. While everyone watched, Goku began giving Omaeda the first meat. As he chewed, Vegeta held up a little sign that had the name of the meat. Snake. The crowd quietly groaned in disgust.

Omaeda: "Uh... Not chicken."

After he was done, he drank some soda to wash away the after taste. Alligator was next.

Omaeda: "Uh... That tastes a little like chicken. But there is a strange secondary taste."

Boar was next.

Omaeda: "Not chicken."

Turtle.

Omaeda: "Nope."

Turkey.

Omaeda: "Not chicken but very similar."

Squab.

Omaeda: "No but uh, can I have a bucket?"

Vegeta handed Goku a bucket who handed it to Omaeda who no sooner did he get it, that he spat out the Squab.

Omaeda: "That was a little nasty."

Chicken.

Omaeda: "Maybe."

Toushiro: (Whispering) "Maybe? Seriously?"

Ichigo just shrugged. Even he was finding that a little funny. Ell was next. And that one really got a reaction.

Omaeda: "Ugh! Not Chicken! Definitely not chicken!"

Soifon was loving this. 12 more different meats were tried with various reactions, many funny. It finally seemed to be over. But there was one more. Vegeta's mystery meat.

Omaeda: "Are we done? Ugh!"

Goku: "Nope! Vegeta's prepared a very special meat for you."

Omaeda: "W-What is it?"

Vegeta: "It's one I guarantee you've never had or even heard of."

Goku gave Omaeda the mystery meat. He chewed and then a very distinct expression crossed his face. Before long, he couldn't take it anymore.

Omaeda: "UGH! That is nasty!"

Soifon was laughing hard as her lieutenant just spat furiously into the bucket! In fact a lot of people were finding that funny.

Ichigo: "HA HA HAAAA! That's hilarious!"

Hercule: "I can't stop laughing!"

Once everyone had settled down and Omaeda had gotten the taste in his mouth out, Goku figured it was time for Vegeta to fill everyone in.

Goku: "So Vegeta... What was that mystery meat you threw in?"

Vegeta: "It's a delicacy on this one planet I was one when I was younger and trust me, when I found out what it was, I never ate it again! And earth has the same animal that it's from so..."

Goku: "What is it?"

Vegeta: "On the planet I was on, they called it Bakla. And..."

Goku: "And?"

Vegeta: "... ... It's worms."

Shock and disgust swept across everyone's faces and Omaeda started vomiting into the bucket.

Goku: "... Worms?..."

Vegeta: "Yeah."

Goku: "You ate- no wonder you freak out around worms, that's disgusting!"

Vegeta: "I've seen you eat just as weird things, and be thankful that I haven't eaten some of the things Nappa has!"

Goku: "... I know I'm gonna regret this... But what has he eaten?"

Vegeta: "... Eh... Nappa had this weird, and I mean VERY weird, tradition of his where he would eat a small bit of the people he killed..."

The look on Goku's face was that of sheer disgust and disbelief. Everyone else was just trying to keep their stomachs inside.

Goku: "... He...? ... What the hell was wrong with him?..."

Vegeta: "Still think me killing my own partner was cruel and heartless?"

Goku: "... Not anymore! In fact, I'm GLAD you did!"

Vegeta just laughed.

The End.


End file.
